There are times I seriously think to my self “self, why do you keep falling for idiots.” There has yet to be a response simply due to the fact, I seem to unfortunately be repeating my mistakes. While, I should give myself a little credit, because I haven’t fallen for the same A-hole twice, there seems to be a new a-hole being introduced to my love life, every time I start a new relationship. Now, seriously, if you’re young like me you may not be aware that there isn’t just one sort of A-hole there are in fact, a gargantuan
supply of them, each with their very own characteristics and traits.I’ve just recently gotten out of a relationship where my particular A-hole was the emotionally unavailable type. I had never experienced this. The saddest thing is that everything was going beautifully in our relationship; he was good to me, he called/texted/skyped, always kind and considerate and very loving. It was a pleasure talking to him every time. I simply loved being with him, and I was certain that he felt the same way, based off of the way he behaved toward me.
However, maybe he was just a little bit too good to be true. It was very shortly after the break up that I decided that this unavailable A-hole might be the biggest threat to heartbreak of them all. You see, unlike the obvious reasons for a break up, where you may be fighting, not getting along, schedule differences, abusive, or things just simply aren’t working. These are all obvious reasons for a relationship not working out. With this particular A-hole though you just don’t see it coming, which makes him very DANGEROUS.
This particular A-hole will however, have many different reasons about why it isn’t working. One of the bigger ones being “I just don’t want a relationship right now with anyone.” This is I’m sorry but quite frankly a load of crap. This reason alone does not make him a bad person though. He is entitled to have his feelings; he is allowed to be happy too, he’s allowed to call it off (girls please remember this.) What does make him a jerk however, is how he acts toward you post break up.
If he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone at this point in his life, then fine,
he’s perfectly allowed. But, he should be able to understand that this hurts you, as any break up will always hurt. It’s perfectly natural. You are feeling like there’s suddenly an empty void that you can’t fill. You miss him and it hurts badly. And, despite the fact that you are broken up, you still love him and have feelings for him. This is why how he behaves after the break up is VERY important! He must have compassion and sympathy toward these facts. But, in fact he doesn’t at all.
Maybe, he says he does, but if the man just openly admitted to not wanting a relationship with you then why does he still insist on talking to you? If he’s not letting you off the phone until you can promise him that you’ll talk at least once every few days, then something about that little scenario just isn’t fair then is it? I don’t think so at least. I mean he just stomped on your heart and now wants to talk to you? What is that? “It’s just to see how you are.”
He might say, or “ I don’t want to talk to as friends (because the let’s just be friends blow hurts pretty bad too) or as your boyfriend, I just want to still talk to you.” Well, gee if he misses you this badly then why is he breaking up with you to begin with? Hey readers do you have any answers for me, because I’d love to hear them? A break-up is hard enough and when the girl who just got dumped still has all these feelings tied in, should she really feel pressured into talking to her ex after he just broke her heart, and she’s feeling so vulnerable. You guys tell me? I’d love to hear some thoughts and opinions.